The Fault In Our Anime: All American Invasion
by HeyParadox
Summary: This is the first story in the Fault in our Anime (FIOA) series. Two american girls transfer to Ouran and make it their job to 'torture' everyone in the Host Club. This is pure crack guys, so have fun! Rated K just to be safe.
1. One: Cake Steeling and Blonde Stalking

Disclaimer: We do not own OHHC. Otherwise... (evil hand rubbing commences!) And another thing, this is a collaborative fanfic with myself (Paradox) and my friend HeysU. This account is for the both of us, so all our colab fanfics will be posted here. Feel free to follow this account or our separate accounts. ;) Niyumi is based off of myself while Nanami is based off of HeysU.

* * *

**Chapter One: Cake Stealing and Blonde Stalking**

"So this is Ouran?" Nanami looked at the tall (and pink) building. "Whoa!"

Niyumi gave a low whistle at the impressive building. It was kinda amazing that, once they graduated, all of the guys weren't gay. "Seems so. I'm just wondering what's up with the color scheme!" Niyumi commented and her nose scrunched up as she continued to observe Ouran Academy.

She had never cared much for the colors pink and yellow, much less a mix. In fact, neither had Nanami. Where was the greens and blues? Then it'd be like Easter!

Nanami laughed, both at the disgruntled and disgusted expression and the comment, and slung an arm around her best friend's thin shoulders. She was careful not to snag any of Niyumi's short and silky brown (she had streaks of magenta. Super cool!) locks while doing so. "I knew I loved you for a reason Yumi-chan!"

Niyumi's bright green eyes flared as her eyes narrowed slightly while she gazed lightly at Nanami. "Gosh," she drawled sarcastically. "I feel so freaking appreciated."

Nanami shrunk away from the harsh glare and whined. "Yumi-chan!"

Niyumi slid out of the other's now limp grip and began to walk towards the school's front doors without looking back.

"Yumi-chan!" Nanami called, stressing the name out even more.

"Come on, Nami-chan!" Niyumi wasn't taking any crap. "We'll be late and we won't get a chance to terrorize the teachers!"

Nanami perked up at the mention of 'terrorizing'. "And students," she added happily as she skipped after her favorite brunette.

The two friends laughed together. It seemed like the transfer wasn't going to be as bad as they had both thought.

They were ready for what Ouran Academy had to throw at them!

* * *

"Class," the teacher (or sensei, in Japan) started. She was really nothing to brag about or even look twice at. Instead of the strict teacher the two American girls were expecting, with the place being high-end and all, they were fairly surprised to find this average woman teaching the future minds of Japan's rich and powerful.

She was a short woman, only about 5'0", with mousey brown hair stopping just at the slight jut of her chin, and dark brown eyes that looked defeated. Her voice wasn't croaky, but it wasn't anything close to melodic. It was, like almost everything about her, average.

In a way, the two girls were disappointed. Because Ouran was such a renowned school, they had expected either extremely strict teachers or eccentric teachers with an enthusiasm to teach.

This woman, who had introduced herself outside of the class with a faint smile that seemed fake as Kobayashi Sunako or Kobayashi-sensei, was anything but the former and the latter. If there was an actual gauge, Kobayashi-sensei would be dead in the middle, not tilting in any direction at all.

Nonetheless, the girls could see how she was trying her best to be a good teacher. She spoke calmly, but firmly, and stood in front of her class without fear. Her voice never wavered once, no matter how tired she looked.

Nanami thought she looked like a flower wilting in the sun. She was sure that if someone would just water Kobayashi-sensei and give her a little love, the flower would be able to stand tall again. Mentally, she made a note to be as nice as she could be to Kobayashi-sensei who was obviously going through some problems.

"We have two new students joining us, please welcome-"

"New students?" two intertwining voices interrupted.

From their vantage point at the front, Nanami and Niyumi could see who the rude students were. They were two red-heads, though more like gingers, with golden eyes that made them look like sneaky foxes, and pale skin to complete their picture. Their desks were close to each other, more so than the other students', close enough where they could lean on each other (as they were doing).

Nanami turned to her friend and silently raised an eyebrow. _"Twins?"_ she mouthed in English.

Niyumi nodded; she thought so too.

"Yes, Hitachiin twins," Kobayashi-sensei answered graciously, acting as if she hadn't just been rudely interrupted.

Behind their backs, because they stood barely an inch apart, Niyumi and Nanami hi-fived.

Kobayashi-sensei saw their silent celebratory act and smiled again faintly, though this one was real. "Now, please welcome Akashi Niyumi and Hakuba Nanami."

"How do we know which one is which?" asked one of the gingers. In fact, they seemed to be the only ones in the room, at least today.

"You don't," Niyumi shrugged. Really, if he hadn't (though this time unknowingly) interrupted again, she would have clarified on the teeny-tiny detail.

"Guess you gotta found out," Nanami smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. Her smirk showed a bit more teeth when she saw several of the aristocratic brats cringe at her grammar.

Niyumi snorted and mumbled: "Pansies" under her breath.

"Hey, that's our game!" The Hitachiin twins yelled and stood up threateningly. A stern look from Kobayashi-sensei had the duo sitting down and breathing deeply. They calmed down after a minute or so.

"Hey, that's not fair!" called the louder one.

"Yeah, how come they don't have to wear uniforms?" the other elaborated.

Niyumi barely resisted rolling her eyes, Nanami did not.

"Oh, I don't know," she said lowly, basically purring the words as her voice dropped a couple of octaves. She leaned forward. Her jet black hair fell in front of her face and her brown eyes darkened as they zeroed in on the Hitachiin twins.

The class began to notice little details like her ripped and hole-y jeans, her large t-shirt that read: Mess with me- I DARE YOU, and her sunglasses.

Nanami and Niyumi could see the exact moment that the class labeled Nanami as a gangster. There were loud cries and shuffling as many of them tried to get away.

Niyumi couldn't blame them. Her friend could be downright threatening when she wanted to be. She snorted; she could too.

She put a hand on her hip and cocked it to the side, resting a hand on it. Her blue and purple plaid shirt pulled a little, showing the white tank top underneath. Her boots that stopped just under her knees which were on over her navy blue jeans, tapped quietly as she moved. "Maybe 'cause," Niyumi continued.

"We're freaking awesome!" The two finished together.

Kobayashi-sensei coughed to cover a laugh, while also gaining back the attention of the class. "Please, take a seat Miss Akashi, Miss Hakuba," she said and her voice sounded a bit warmer and her smile was a bit wider.

The two girls returned the smile and complied, but not before shooting indentically sadistic smirks at the Hitachiin twins.

* * *

"Do we want revenge on the twins?"

Niyumi and Nanami spoke in hushed tones as they completed the math worksheet that Kobayashi-sensei had passed out. They both knew that the nobles more than likely knew English, but they were quiet enough not to be heard. Plus, they were in the very back, the only beside them was a girl, though she could pass as a guy, sitting at the window seat.

Niyumi was the closest to her. She had short brown hair, large, medium brown eyes, and the trademark pale Japanese skin tone. She didn't look particularly snobbish, so the Americans left her alone.

_"Not too much," _Niyumi answered, a finger to her lips in a thoughtful gesture. _"Just enough for them to get the message."_

Nanami's grin showed off her sharp canines._ "We should follow them around," _she suggested innocently, though it was ruined when you say how evil she looked while saying that.

Niyumi giggled lightly._ "I like your thinking!"_

The two wouldn't comment on how Niyumi's giggling made her sound insane.

That was just her charm.

* * *

Lunch came around soon enough, and Nanami and Niyumi sat together, making their evil plans.

They were the only two at their table, because, even though nobody had gotten to know them yet, people were still able to sense the vibes coming off them and knew to stay away.

_"Okay," _started Niyumi. They spoke quietly in English again. It was like their secret language (though most people knew how to speak it). _"So how are we gonna do this?"_

_"We should tell them we're lost if they see us," _Nanami said with a devious smile. _"Or we could just tell them that we're stalking them; be up front about it," _she suggested.

_"Nah," _Niyumi objected. _"That's too plain."_

Nanami looked up at the ceiling and gnawed on the tip of her spoon in thought. _"You're right," _she said after awhile. _"Let's just follow them. We'll worry about excuses when the time comes."_

Both girls quickly finished their lunch and headed back to class to grab their belongings.

Niyumi smiled at Koboyashi-sensei who returned the gesture and Nanami waved as they left again.

Niyumi had to admit, as she watched the other girls file into the classroom, that she was glad they didn't have to wear the uniform. Those dresses just looked dumb. Come on, buttercup yellow? While she was on the subject of uniforms. "If you had to wear Ouran's uniform, would you wear the girl's or the boy's?" Niyumi asked, looking over at her partner.

"Probably the boys since they look way more comfy," Nanami replied.

The two American friends chatted throughout the remainder of their classes, always making sure to keep at least on eye on the twins.

* * *

"Yay! The end of class!" Niyumi cheered, waving her hands above her head almost erratically. She then leaned in to her friend's ear and whispered, "Time to go stalking," in a sing-song voice.

Nanami giggled and nodded.

The two girls gave each other evil smiles before walking out after the twins. Luckily, the twins didn't notice them.

Niyumi almost sweat-dropped. Did they not notice two mental girls who stuck out like eyesores because of their different apparel staring with complete focus at their backs? No, apparently they didn't.

The weird group traveled along the many halls (Nanami was starting to get dizzy) until the Hitachiin twins stopped at the 3rd Music Room. The gingers stepped inside.

Funny thing is, the stalkers never noticed them pushing or pulling the door, maybe it was opened?

Nanami prevented the door from closing with her foot, leaving it open just a crack, and peeked inside. Niyumi snuck up next to her and decided instead of just peeping, she was going to walk into the room.

Seven boys were in the room. They were in different places, certain ones (the twins and a chibi with some freaking tall guy) were in pairs, but they were all talking to girls. They seemed to be trying to seduce them.

This interested Niyumi. Were the guys getting paid? Maybe they should join!

The smell of roses and cake drifted out of the open door. "What the...?" Nanami asked. She was confused and bewildered. How the heck was this school-appropriate?!

"Don't ask, just go inside," Niyumi said brusquely. The curiosity was beginning to kill her. She wanted to know what the guys were up to, darn it! She turned around, grabbed Nanami's hand, and hauled her through the doorway.

Everyone looked up as the American duo entered. The room was still and silent. It looked like nobody knew how to react.

Suddenly, a blonde-haired boy (judging by the uniform , but who really knew? Fujioka-san was a girl dressed as a boy) was in front of them. "Why, hello, my lovely ladies!" he said charmingly as he held out his hand towards them. He was really showy.

Nanami thought that he was just a playboy with a better vocabulary. Play boys in America would have said something like, "'ey, Ma, lemme get yo' numba!". Translating: "Hey, Ma, let me get your number!".

"Hey," Niyumi greeted, ignoring his extended hand.

"Is there anything I can- Ah!" He was shoved aside by the Hitachiin twins.

"Hey! It's the girls who are trying to be like us!" they said loudly in unison.

"What?! We are not!" Nanami and Niyumi yelled back in unison as well. It was an insult to say that they were trying to be like the twins, but Niyumi decided she'd let it slide. _This_ time.

"And besides," started Niyumi.

"Who would want to be like you guys?" Nanami finished off with a smirk.

"No! There's four of them!" The blonde cried and threw himself into a dark corner. He sat with his legs held to his chest, his chin resting on his knees. A dark aura emanated from that corner. The blonde seemed depressed.

"Look! They have emo corners in Japan!" Niyumi gasped playfully. The girls chuckled to themselves at the private joke before turning back to the twins.

"We didn't catch your names," Nanami said.

"We're Hikaru and Kaoru!" they exclaimed together.

Nanami raised an eyebrow. Was that supposed to explain everything ?

"Alright, thanks," Niyumi said, then turned, and began to walk away. She didn't notice the weird looks the twins gave her, but Nanami did.

"What?" Nanami questioned them. One looked confused while the other looked disappointed. "We're not going to ask you which is which. It'll just be a waste of time." Then, leaving the two speechless, she joined her friend where she was talking to the chibi and his companion.

"Hey, boss!" Kaoru called.

"I don't think they understand what this club is about!" Hikaru finished the statement.

The sulking blonde didn't move. "Mommy?" a lilting voice came from the corner.

A dark-haired boy wearing glasses smiled slightly. "Yes, Daddy?"

"Do they hate me?"

"No, Tamaki. But they probably either didn't know what you were trying to do or they didn't care."

Tamaki jumped up. "That's a great idea, Kyouya!"

"What is?"

Tamaki simply smiled and ran off to the girls. Once there, he smiled as nicely as he could. He had no idea how creepy he looked.

The girls leaned back a bit. He was really close to them. Personal space issues!

"Did you guys just transfer here?" he asked sweetly.

"Yeah," said Nanami.

"Ah. And where do you come from?" Tamaki asked while brushing the hair from his face. The girls in the buttercup yellow dresses swooned.

Niyumi and Nanami raised their eyebrows, non-plussed. "America," Niyumi replied flatly. She wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but she was sure it was about to take a dangerous turn.

"I bet that your beauty is greater than that whole country!"

"If that's what you want to believe," Niyumi murmured softly as she looked down at the ground. Niyumi's green eyes held a hint of mischievousness as they hid behind the hair that had fallen into her face.

To the blonde and the others around, she looked ashamed and self-conscious.

Nanami puffed out her chest and stood tall in front of her friend. "He bothering you, Yumi-chan?" she growled.

Niyumi looked up, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "Nami-chan!"

Tamaki seemed to panic. "There's no reason to cry, my lady!" He rushed over to her side and made the mistake of trying to wipe away the girl's tears.

Niyumi jerked away, crying out in (what sounds like) fear.

Nanami scowled darkly at the dimwit. "You fool!" she roared and smacked him hard on the cheek.

The sound resonated around the room.

"Keep your hands off her!" She enfolded Niyumi in her arms protectively, growling at anyone who took even a step towards them.

Tamaki, ignoring the warning signs, stepped forward and waved his arms frantically. He looked pale and spooked.

Nanami smirked into Niyumi's hair. Good, that meant the idiot would think twice before touching either one of them without permission.

Stupid womanizer!

"My lady! What's wrong?!" He took another step forward, but then flew backwards as Nanami's fist connected with his cheek. He crashed into a table, sending everything on it flying.

Nanami was angry. She must have spoke to soon. The blonde bimbo couldn't seem to take a hint! Was he usually this clueless?

Niyumi suddenly looked up at Tamaki. His eyes widened and he made to get away as he saw the look in her eyes.

She then charged at him and tackled his to the floor. "I always get the last word!" she shouted as they hit ground.

Tamaki gasped and yelped in pain.

Niyumi quickly got up and walked back to Nanami, smiling. She was in a better mood now that the blonde had been taught his place. "That felt good," she said happily.

"Now that that's done, I guess we should introduce ourselves," said Nanami. "I'm Hakuba Nanami and this is my friend Akashi Niyumi."

The boy with the glasses gave a polite smile. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ootori Kyouya and this is Suoh Tamaki," he gestured to the blonde still lying on the marble floor. "Morinozuka Takashi," he pointed to the huge black-haired boy. "Huninozuka Mitsukini," that was the blonde chibi. "Fujioka Haruhi," they'd already met Fujioka-san. "And it seems that you've met the Hitachiin twins Kaoru and Hikaru."

Unfortunately, Nanami thought as she rolled her eyes. They could probably be good friends if they didn't act so obnoxious at first. The girls both smiled at Kyouya. "Nice to meet you," they returned to the one polite boy they had talked to that day.

Tamaki stood beside Kyouya, head down and sulking.

"So, what's the point of this club anyway?" Niyumi asked as she looked around at the tables and couches assorted artfully.

Tamaki immediately brightened up.

Nanami had half a mind to declare him bi-polar with all of his mood swings. Or maybe he really was a girl and this was his time of the month? PMS blues, baby! Nanami knew how it felt.

"I'm glad you asked!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"No," Nanami said flatly. "Don't do that."

Tamaki was curled up in his corner in an instant.

Kyouya sighed exasperatedly and pushed his glasses up his nose with a finger. "Well, we entertain the ladies, to put it simply," he explained.

Nanami raised an eyebrow as certain Host Club entertainments came to mind. Niyumi glanced at Nanami. They had been thinking the same thing. How was this allowed in school again?

"Entertain?" Niyumi asked.

"Yes. We make them feel 'loved'."

Oh. That made things a bit better. Though both of the Americans knew that there was bound to be at least on girl would be a bit too... worshipping.

"Oh, got it," Niyumi said while nodding.

Nanami nodded sagely as well before noticing that the smallest blonde was snacking on a delicious looking chocolate cake.

He had only taken one bite before it was gone. "Huh?" He blinked blankly at his empty plate and then his eyes began to tear up.

"Sorry, sweetie," Nanami cooed.

Niyumi smiled and held a lollipop towards him. "Chocolate's our favorite, I'm afraid." Nanami split the cake and handed half to Niyumi after Huni took the lolli. "We owe you one," the girls said in unison, winking at the small Host.

Huni nodded, the cherry-flavored lolli satisfying him for then.

The girls took their leave.

* * *

Nanami and Niyumi waited outside of Ouran for a certain blonde host.

No, not Huni. The girl's honesty felt bad for taking his cake when it was obvious he was enjoying it. They just couldn't resist the chocolate cake. Come on, it was chocolate!

As soon as Tamaki walked out, they slowly followed. He got into a limo when someone opened the back door for him.

Niyumi hopped into the driver seat of their 2010 Mazda3 5-Door and the two began to tail the limo.

It was a wonder Tamaki didn't notice that they were right behind him. The same car, following the whole time, and nobody at all noticed?!

"Rich people," Niyumi sneered.

"Look!" Nanami pointed.

They saw a mansion up a winding road and stooped a while back, watching Tamaki's limo drive up to the house. The girls got out of their Mazda and snuck up the hill.

Tamaki was just getting out of the limo.

Niyumi climbed up a tree near the front porch and Nanami sat down on the stairs.

Tamaki came up the steps and screamed like a little girl when he saw Nanami. "What are you doing here?!" he squeaked. "Where's Niyumi-san?"

Nanami grinned and looked up at the tree. Niyumi swung down from a branch and landed on her feet. She gave Tamaki, who looked like he was about to have a heart attack, a wink and stood next to Nanami.

"Well, we're here," Niyumi said.

"To follow you around your house!" Nanami finished.

Tamaki just gaped at them. "Follow me? Why?" he nearly wailed.

"Because it's fun!" The girls said smiling widely.

"Oh... um..." Tamaki stuttered as he opened the door and walked inside his house.

Niyumi and Nanami skipped into through the open door and looked around.

"Impressive," commented Nanami.

"Very neat," Niyumi said.

Tamaki sweat-dropped at the civil conversation. He quickly walked upstairs to his room, dropping his bag onto his bed. He took of his blue outer coat and hung it on a hook on the back of his door. "So," he said nervously. "What do you want to do?"

The girls smirked at each other.

"You do whatever it is that you do after school," Niyumi said.

"And we'll just watch you!" Nanami said exclaimed in an excited tone. It seemed like she was about to watch her favorite film.

"Eh?!" Tamaki yelped. "So you're just going to stalk me around my house?!"

"That's the idea!" Niyumi confirmed brightly, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Tamaki shook his head in shock and said, "Alright... just try not to, I don't know... just don't hurt me," his voice was bordering on pleading.

Tamaki pulled out a green notebook and started to work.

Nanami and Niyumi quietly talked to each other, their eyes never leaving the blonde's form. He worked way slower than they thought he would. Maybe it was the fact that he was being watched like a lion would watch his next meal.

Hours passed as they followed the blonde Host around. He didn't show any sign of anger, just nervousness. He even tried to get them to watch tv in the living room with them once, but the girls still seemed to find him a more interesting form of entertainment. They switched from the living room, the kitchen, his room, and outside, and at last 8 pm hit.

"You guys need to go home now," Tamaki said, standing by the front door.

"Okay, see you tomorrow," Niyumi said, skipping down to the car.

Nanami smiled sadistically at Tamaki who shivered. "I hope you enjoyed our stalking," she purred. "It's our profession, you know."

Tamaki just stared and nodded slightly. He had no words for the weird American duo. "Um... see you tomorrow..." he said finally, though trailing off uncertainly.

Nanami gave him another smile and ran down to the Mazda.

As soon as the door closed, the two started to laugh. Niyumi hit on the steering wheel and Nanami held her side tightly as if she was afraid they'd split.

"That was just too funny!" Niyumi's voice sounded shrill as she tried to talk while choking on laughter.

"The way he acted was just too weird!" Nanami added.

"Oh, Nami-chan, aren't we the smartest?" Niyumi asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

Nanami smiled and started the car. It was her turn to drive. "Yes we are, Yumi-chan," she agreed.

The girls took deep breaths to calm themselves before driving home.

* * *

HeysU: 1st, no offense was ever meant with the emo corners. If you're emo, go right on ahead, I salute you. 2nd, sorry if there are any misspellings of the names. I'm not that much of a genius and I make mistakes sometimes too. 3rd, little to no hosts were harmed during the making of this chapter. Don't worry. Um... I think that's it. Just have fun with this fic and I hope to read all of your reviews to see what you think.

Paradox: Yup, just what my friend said. We mean no offense to anyone at all. This will become a series with tons of different anime in it. So, let us know what you think and have fun!


	2. NOTICE

NOTICE:

We are so sorry for not updating this whole time! School will be starting soon, so we should be able to post more. (Weird right?) We'll see if we can get a few chapters in before the end of August.

Paradox:

A notice from me. I'll be gone 28-3 for Dallas, 17-21 for Disney, and 8-10 for Otakon. So we won't be able to post a lot.

HeysU:

I will also be gone 8-10 for Otakon.

Both:

So, we're sorry! We hope to see you in the next chapters!


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